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Ways Women Hurt Themselves To Make Themselves Beautiful

long hair

hair brushes
hair dryers
hot rollers
curling irons
crimping irons
flat irons
perms
hair coloring
hair clips, barrettes, banana clips
rubber bands
hair spray
hair gel
hair mousse
shampoo
conditioner
hot oil conditioning treatments
tweeze their eyebrows
remove via electrolysis a moustache
washing the face
soap
astringent, toner
moisturizing creme
wrinkle treatments
makeup
foundation
touch-up stick
powder
rouge
lipstick
lip liner
eye shadow (up to four shades)
eye liner
eye brow pencil
mascara
eyelash curler
eyelash brush
eyebrow brush
growing fingernails
pushing back cuticles
applying cremes, lotions
painting nails
applying fake fingernails
press-on plastic nails
powder-and-chemical sculpted nails
gel and ultra-violet light hardened nails
painting and manicuring toe nails
perfume
at neck
at wrists
at backs of elbows
at knees
at ankles
underarm deodorant
feminine deodorant
shaving hair on the legs
shaving hair at the bikini line
via a razor
via hot wax
via electrolysis
via tweezers
via rotating coils
suntanning
tanning creme
lotion
hand creme
elbow and knee lotions
foot cremes
jewelry:
earrings
clip on
pierced (putting holes in your ears and hanging metal from them)
necklaces
bracelets
rings
watches
ankle bracelets
clothing:
brassieres
decorative panties
corsets
teddies
slips
short or tight-fitting dresses
tight-fitting tops, sleeveless tops, strapless tops
tight-fitting pants, tight-fitting shorts, tight-fitting skirts
short shorts, short skirts
cinched belts
garter belts, garters
panty hose
heels, pumps, shoes with pointed toes


Copyright Janet Kuypers.
All rights reserved. No material
may be reprinted without express permission.

You can get this poem in the book
The Average Guy’s Guide (to Feminism)

The Average Guy's Guide (to Feminism) The Average Guy's Guide (to Feminism)