[the Writing of Kuypers]    [JanetKuypers.com]    [Bio]    [Poems]    [Prose]


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(5:03, of just the poem)
live at the Yammer Chicago mini-feature 11/17/99
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live at the show Questions in a World Without Answers 10/05/04, Chicago
video video watch the full Questions in a World Withough Answers video live, including this poem in Chicago 10/05/04 (~21:56)
Listen mp3 file to this radio recording
from WZRD Radio (in a 2 CD set)

Listen mp3 file to the live reading
from the Side A/Side B feature 12/09/03
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(5:18) live at Jesse Oaks 07/19/07
Leva at Cafe Ahloa CD Listen mp3 file to this live real audio at “Live at Cafe Aloha (Janet Kuypers/Jason Pettus show), or order this - or any track - from the CD “Live at Cafe Aloha” through Amazon or iTunes.
video Never before seen on social media, see the YouTube video (:56) of Janet Kuypers reading parts of her poem “Burn It In” during her “Beach Poets 8/14/05 feature” at Chicago’s Loyola Beach (this video was posted on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and Tumblr).
video Never before seen on social media, see the Archive video of Janet Kuypers sharing her poetry and prose during her “Beach Poets 8/14/05 feature” at Chicago’s Loyola Beach, w/ her poems “Burn It In” (part), “David”, “I Dreamt About You Last Night”, “A Child In The Park”, “Freedom Just Past The Fence”, and “In The Air” (part), plus her prose pieces “Age” and “Clay” (this video is from the Internet Archive; posted on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr).
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(5:22) recorded on the Pacific Ocean
12/07 near the Galapagos os Islands
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(5:13) recorded of dancing Boobies (birds called Nazca Boobies, Punta Suarez, Espanola Island 12/25/07, Galapagos os Islands)
frame from mpeg show of practice session at the Lake County Poets Society 08/22/06
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(2:22) from the Poetry Fest 2006 Lake County Poets Society practice performance, live 08/22/06
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entire performance
at the Lake County 08/22/06 Prep Show live, via the Internet Archive
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read live as the final scheduled feature 08/26/06 for the Society of Professional Journalists show thru Chicago Poetry Fest ‘06.
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03/05/11 from the TV camera in Lake Villa at Swing State, live in her show Letting it All Out
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(4:32, of just the poem) 03/05/11 in Lake Villa at Swing State, live in her “Visual Nonsense” show Letting it All Out
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of Kuypers from the TV monitor in the “Letting it All Out” show, live in Lake Villa 03/05/11 at Swing State
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(34:48) to the Letting it All Out show, live in Lake Villa’s Swing State 03/05/11 with this piece
video See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem “Burn It In2/27/13 at the Café Gallery open mic she hosted in Chicago (this video was filmed from a Canon camera; posted on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, Instagram and Tumblr). #janetkuypers #janetkuyperspoem #janetkuypersthecafegallery
video See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem “Burn It In2/27/13 at the Café Gallery open mic she hosted in Chicago (this video was filmed from a Sony camera; posted on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, Instagram, and Tumblr). #janetkuypers #janetkuyperspoem #janetkuypersthecafegallery
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of Kuypers hosting the open mic 2/27/13 at Gallery Cabaret’s the Café Gallery in Chicago, plus this poem
video See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Burn It In in Vicci’s Chicago studio 7/20/14, with video behind her of her drawing this poem (C, take 1; posted on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, Instagram, and Tumblr). #janetkuypers #janetkuyperspoem #janetkuyperspoetry
video See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Burn It In in Vicci’s Chicago studio 7/20/14, with video behind her of her drawing this poem (C, take 2; posted on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, Instagram, and Tumblr). #janetkuypers #janetkuyperspoem #janetkuyperspoetry
video See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Burn It In in Vicci’s Chicago studio 7/20/14, with video behind her of her drawing this poem (S, take 1; posted on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, Instagram, and Tumblr). #janetkuypers #janetkuyperspoem #janetkuyperspoetry
video See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Burn It In in Vicci’s Chicago studio 7/20/14, with video behind her of her drawing this poem (S, take 2; posted on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, Instagram, and Tumblr). #janetkuypers #janetkuyperspoem #janetkuyperspoetry
video video See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading 3 poems 9/14/15 at the Chicago open mic Weeds, w/ “So”, Beauty in the Eyes of Einstein, & Burn It In (Canon fs200)
video video See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading 3 poems 9/14/15 at the Chicago open mic Weeds, w/ “So”, Beauty in the Eyes of Einstein, & Burn It In (Canon PS).
video See YouTube video 1/3/16 of Janet Kuypers reading her poems White Knuckled, Women’s Very Existence and Burn It In from her book Rape, Sexism, Life & Death and her poem ever leave me from the cc&d book When the Walls are Paper Thin at the Austin open mic Kick Butt Poetry (this video was filmed from a Nikon Coolpix S7000 camera; posted on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, Instagram, and Tumblr)./font>
video See YouTube video 1/3/16 of Janet Kuypers reading her poems White Knuckled, Women’s Very Existence and Burn It In from her book Rape, Sexism, Life & Death and her poem ever leave me from the cc&d book When the Walls are Paper Thin at the Austin open mic Kick Butt Poetry (this video was filmed from a Canon Power Shot camera; posted on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, Instagram, and Tumblr).
video See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Burn It In” from her interview/ journal/poetry book “In Depth”, “Ultimate Connectivity: a bird in the hand” from her performance art poetry book “Chapter 48 (v2)”, and “Observations Nine and Six” from her performance art poetry book “Chapter 48 (v1)” 10/13/18 @ “For to Famous” at Austin’s The Buzz Mill (video filmed from a Panasonic Lumix 2500 camera).
video See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poems “Burn It In” from her interview/ journal/poetry book “In Depth”, “Ultimate Connectivity: a bird in the hand” from her performance art poetry book “Chapter 48 (v2)”, and “Observations Nine and Six” from her performance art poetry book “Chapter 48 (v1)” 10/13/18 @ “For to Famous” at Austin’s The Buzz Mill (video filmed from a Panasonic Lumix T56 camera).

Burn It In

Janet Kuypers

Once I was at a beach
off the west coast of Florida
it was New Year’s eve
and the yellow moon hung over the gulf
like a swaying lantern.
And I was watching the waves crash in front of me
with a friend
and the wind picked up
and my friend just stared at that moon for a while
and then closed his eyes.
I asked him what he was thinking.
He said, “I wanted to look at this scene,
and memorize it, burn it into my brain,
record it in my mind, so I can call it up when I want to.
So I can have it with me always.”

I too have my recorders.
I burn these things into my brain,
I burn these things onto pages.
I pick and choose what needs to be said,
what needs to be remembered.

Every year, at the end of the year
I used to write in a journal
recall the things that happened to me
log in all of the memories I needed to keep
because that was what kept me sane
that was what kept me alive.

When I first went to college
I was studying to be a computer science
engineer, I wanted to make a lot of money
I wanted to beat everyone else
because burned in my brain were the taunts
of kids who were in cliques
so others could do the thinking for them
because burned in my brain were the evenings
of the high school dances I never went to
because burned in my brain were the people
I knew I was better than
who thought they were better than me.
Well, yes, I wanted to make a lot of money
I wanted to beat everyone else
but I hated what I was doing
I hated what I saw around me
hated all the pain people put each other through
and all of these memories just kept flooding me
so in my spare time
to keep me sane, to keep me alive
I wrote down the things I could not say
that was how I recorded things.

When I looked around me, and saw friends
raping my friends
I wrote, I burned into these nightmares with a pen
and yes, I have this recorded
I have all of this recorded.

What did you think I was doing
when I was stuffing hand-written notes into my pockets
or typing long hours into the night?
In college, I had two roommates
who in their spare time would watch movies in our living room
and cross-stitch. I never understood this.
In my spare time, I was not watching other’s stories
or weaving thread to keep my hands busy
I was sitting in the corner of a cafe
scribbling into my notebook.
I was sitting in the university computer lab
slamming my hands, my fingers against the keyboard
because there were too many atrocities in the world
too many injustices that I had witnessed
too many people who had wronged me

and I had a lot of work to do.
There had to be a record of what you’ve done.

Did you think your crimes would go unpunished?
And did you think that you could come back, years later,
slap me on the back with a friendly hello
and think I wouldn’t remember?
You see, that’s what I have my poems for
so there will always be a record
of what you have done
I have defiled many pages
in your honor, you who swung
your battle ax high above your head
and thought no one would remember in the end.
Well, I made a point to remember.
Yes, I have defiled many pages
and have you defiled many women?
You, the man who rapes my friends?
You, the man who rapes my sisters?
You, the man who rapes me?
Is this what makes you a strong man?

you want to know why I do the things I do

I had to record these things
that is what kept me together
when people were dying
that is what kept me together
when my friends went off to war
that is what kept me together
when my friends were raped
and left for dead
that is what kept me together
when no one bothered to notice this
or change this
or care about this
these recordings kept me together

I need to record these things
to remind myself
of where I came from
I need to record these things
to remind myself
that there are things to value
and things to hate
I need to record these things
to remind myself
that there are things worth fighting for
worth dying for
I need to record these things
to remind myself
that I am alive


Copyright Janet Kuypers.
All rights reserved. No material
may be reprinted without express permission.


the book Moving Performances the book Oeuvre the cc&d v170.5 issue release of Kuypers' writings in the 2006 book  Distinguished Writings the book Distinguished Writings the book Live at Cafe Aloha the 2007 cc&d v171.5 book Living in Chaos, with material from Janet Kuypers Life on the Edge, 2007 ccd collection book, front cover It All Comes Down, 2007 Janet Kuypers book, front cover Rising to the Surface, 2007 Janet Kuypers book, front cover
the CD Live at Cafe Aloha the CD Questions in a World Without Answers Live at WZRD Radio - 2 CD set the CD Moving Performances