Too Far (2020 edit)
Janet Kuypers 
(1995 poem, updated 12/3/20 for 2020 book release)
When he met me 
he told me 
I looked like 
Gwyneth Paltrow, 
Cameron Diaz, 
Kim Basinger — 
long blonde locks 
but as time 
wore on I knew 
I wasn’t her 
and I could never 
be her    and I was 
never good enough 
thin enough 
pretty enough 
so I got a perm 
straightened my 
teeth 
bought a wonder 
bra    but it wasn’t 
doing the trick 
I bought SlimFast 
used the stair 
stepper    ate rice 
cakes and wheat 
germ but I wasn’t 
thin enough    I 
only dropped 
twenty pounds 
so I went to the 
spa    got my skin 
peeled    soaked 
myself in mud 
wrapped myself 
in cellophane 
bought the amino 
acid facial creams 
but I knew they 
didn’t really 
work 
so I went to 
the doctor    got my 
nose slimmed 
my tummy stapled 
my thighs sucked 
thought about 
getting a rib or two 
removed 
you know 
like Cher 
but I figured 
my ribs? 
they’ve got to 
be there for 
something 
and hey, that’s 
just going 
too far 
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