Urine and Fireworks
Janet Kuypers
7/3/19
Everyone usually talks about taking
the fourth of July off, and watching
fireworks, but the cool thing about
Chicago was that they did their huge
fireworks show the day before, on
July 3rd every summer. Then the Chicago
Symphony orchestra would play
a symphony in the band shell live
to accommodate the fireworks show,
and it was amazing to use this chance
to cram all races and ages of Chicagoans
together on the grass by Lake Michigan,
right at the end of the Taste of Chicago,
right at the time when everyone
wanted to get together and celebrate.
This was the time everyone and their
brother took the L train, because there
was no way you’d find parking this night.
And I can’t tell you how many years
I did this, but then I heard Chicago was
going to change future fireworks dates
for the 4th of July from the 3 rd back to the 4 th.
The worst part was that they’d do smaller
fireworks shows too, so the gallantry
of this celebration would be altogether lost.
This made me sad, so we made a point
to go one more time to this city-wide
celebration for this holiday that will now
never be the same. We took the train,
we found a spot in the grass with
everyone from single people to families,
as I said, all ages, all rages got together.
And this one last time, as we camped
in our little spot on the grass, we heard
one woman complain she had to go real bad,
and apparently, she couldn’t leave her spot,
so she decided to slide her underwear
off enough to go right there in the grass.
That’s the Chicago way, I wondered,
until I heard a woman closer to the lake
(and apparently downhill from the
pissing woman) start screaming
that urine was running in the grass
all over her and her seat - ‘who did this?’
she was exclaiming, and I thought,
only on the 4th, I mean, 3 rd, of July,
and only in Chicago. Well, maybe not
only in Chicago, but as an observer
it’s a funny way to say sayonara
to a tradition that was just perfect,
that now became a little ludicrous too.
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